“Why don't you go outside”
Have you ever given this advice to someone who struggle with depression?
I saw this meme floating past my timeline. It got stuck in my neural canals. Pun very much intended, thank you.
A ship stuck in the Suez canal is a great metaphor for major depressive disorder.
The meme is funny. And probably recognizable to anyone who has gotten advice from someone who has little experience with mental illnesses and depression. Because, obviously, I’m not going outside because I’m depressed. So your advice, however well-meaning it is, isn’t helpful. It has the causality totally wrong. Haha. People who don’t get it, am I right?
(Personally, I have faith in the excavator. I believe in it. And I hope it soon will make us all look foolish and question our collective excavating prejudices.)
I also feel ambivalent about this meme. It captures a stance that’s easy to indulge in when you’re depressed. It’s the “they don’t get it” narrative. And in many cases, “they” really don’t.
I totally get how hard it can be to “go outside” when you are depressed. The complete void of initiative, even active resistance to doing what you intellectually know you should be doing. The tiredness. The lack of energy. Or rather, the vast amount of energy that is taken up by your brain's infinite regressions of anxiety. I can imagine that this state is alien to people who haven’t had close encounters with depressive episodes.
It’s not great when people fail to recognize how hard depression can make even simple things. And we do want our struggles to be acknowledged for what they are. It’s human to seek this understanding and empathy. But I’m not sure if the “they don’t get it” is a helpful narrative to rehearse. Because it may create distance between you and people who may want to care for and help you. Even though they aren’t sure how to.
So after having appreciated this meme as a person with depression. Do ask yourself: “How would I like to be helped? What advice do I actually need when I struggle?” And if you have people in your life that may care for you, tell them.
So yeah. If you know me, do tell me to get outside. And if you have time, I’d very much like to spend that time outside with you. Even though I might be too depressed to recognize it’s what I may need. And I suspect that will be evergreen advice (hah!).