Uncaught by the river

What I've learned from almost a month of practicing mindfulness.

I have been reluctant about the mindfulness trend but decided to try it out. I still cringe a bit just typing the word “mindfulness.” But I was reluctant to psychotherapy too. I’ve been hesitant to try out many things that I’ve later found useful and enjoyable. So I try not to pay too much mind to my reluctance anymore.

I’m using the Waking Up app, which offers you guided meditation exercises. Turns out, the first 5 for free before you have to subscribe. The exercises are pretty simple. You can probably use any of the popular apps out there or find something free on YouTube. I like using the app, it’s convenient and the guidance to be pointed without too much fluff (well, not yet, at least).

I started the month by doing an exercise a few days between, but I am now on a 14 days strike, with 10–15 minutes every day. I have found it surprisingly useful.

There’s a lot of this:

– Pay attention to your breath. Don’t force it, follow it from inhalation and through.

– Notice a sound around you. Where it starts and where it ends. Notice how it doesn’t exist outside of your mind.

– Count your breaths. When you’re distracted by thoughts. Try to notice where they come from. Start again.

A core principle with mindfulness seems to be noticing. Noticing is recognizing what your mind/brain is up to without judging it. Noticing is less hard when you have dedicated a 10 minutes session to it. The goal is that you should able to take this into the rest of your day too.

I find these exercises helpful. Especially when I’m stressed or anxious about something. 10 minutes of guided meditation allow me to “reset” and think more calmly. Some days it’s harder to get into it than others. But I tell myself that that’s OK. This isn’t about mastering something; it’s about the act of setting this time aside.

These sessions have helped me take that phone I was super anxious about. Or get out of a stress loop and into a state of mind where I’m able to put things to paper and plan them out. I can’t promise that it will be like this for you or anyone else. Or how long it takes to get there. But it’s probably worth trying out and doing it for a bit. And think about making it a habit.

I don’t expect mindfulness to “fix” many of the challenges that come with depression. I still need to put in the work to foster my relationships, get out of the house, get physical exercise, practice my emotional language, deal with the things in my past that haven’t been OK, identify negative automatic thought patterns (and work with them), create meaning in life, and continue treatment. But I find that it makes me more able to set out on all of these things. It makes the threshold lower.

Have you practiced mindfulness? Did you find it weird, useful, or just not for you? What is keeping you from spending 10 minutes every day to work on noticing your own mind? Or, if you have been doing it for a while, what other benefits have you discovered? Do let me know by replying to this email or use the comment section. And do share this newsletter with a friend if you think it could be useful for them.